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So, this has been a topic on my mind for a while and I am excited to be able to talk through this with you. First of all, if you are reading this, you are likely a Mommy, a Mama, a Mother or a Mom. Many of you dreamed of these days from the time you were a child, many of you weren’t sure if this was going to be your future or if you even wanted it. We all have our stories and they are all different but they are ours. One thing we do all share is the love for our children that only we as Mothers know.
Some of the wisest advice that my Mom ever gave me was in regards to the love of a Mother and her child. I remember she always told me that “I will never truly understand how much she loves me until I experience it with my own children.” She was absolutely right.
Every night, I tuck my three beauties in and after we pray, I tell my youngest “I love you” and then it begins, “I love you more”, “I love you most”, “I love you mostest” and recently added from her clever friend “No, takebacks” lol. Many of you end your evening with “I love you to the Moon and back” or a good night song. Many evenings as I close their door, I take a moment and reflect on how much I love them and how proud I am of them and it overwhelms me! Heck, it’s overwhelming me just to type this.
Do you feel this way too? Its crazy right, amazing, awesome, overwhelming, all of it. So please tell me why with all of our love and pride that we have in our children, why are we afraid to share it? Why are we afraid to dare I say brag about them? Lift them up? Show the World how bright they shine? It seriously frustrates me when I see my Mommy Friends trying to share on Facebook yet they start with “Warning, Mommy Brag” or when I walk up to a group of women with pride over my daughter getting the Lead in the Play only to brush it off and talk about the weather. Why? Why do we do that? I tell ya, I am guilty too! If fact, I have things I’ve been wanting to share things that I am excited about that makes me beam with pride and what do I do, I just call my Mom and Sister and leave it at that or maybe shoot a text to a close friend but nothing more. I think it’s silly that we do this! I really don’t know why but I do think we need to remember that people bragging about their kids is not to put our children down okay?
WHY ITS OKAY TO BRAG ABOUT YOUR KIDS (and others in our lives)
IT BUILDS SELF-ESTEEM
I think it is important for our children to know that we are proud of them. It’s good for them to see us beam with pride around our friends. You may not realize this but, our kiddos really like to make us proud no matter the age, even as adults. At an early age, it teaches them right from wrong. They quickly learn that making an effort to do well will make us proud versus misbehaving will disappoint us.
My girls know that we are proud of them (we are their parents) but when I share it and brag a little, they get SO HAPPY because others are recognizing their hard work and accomplishments as well. It makes them realize that their hard work is paying off. It builds character and self-esteem and it motivates them to continue working hard to reach their goals.
THEY WILL START COMPLIMENTING AND BRAGGING ABOUT OTHERS
I have noticed that my girls are also learning to not only have pride in themselves and their hard work, but they notice when their friends or other classmates are doing well at something and they complement them. My girls will congratulate them and come home and tell me with excitement or even share it with other friends. They are recognizing and complimenting the growth that they see in their friends because we recognize it in them first.
There are so many mean things being said at school and so much rudeness anymore, why not allow our kids to be proud and be brag about their friends and other classmates? Encourage your kiddos to recognize the hard work and growth in all of the people in their lives, not just their friends and family and please, do the same!
COMPETITION IS HEALTHY
This is true! Competition is a healthy thing! Sure, sometimes my girls will come home a little bummed that “Susie did way better than me on the test” or “Kelly was invited to play with the top team”. THAT’S OKAY!!! This gives us parents’ opportunity for discussion. We should first encourage our child to be happy for their friend, it’s exciting and they likely worked had to get those results. And then ask your kiddos some questions. Why does this upset you? What did Kelly do to get to that goal? Is there some way I can help you get there? Is that even what you want? My children are often driven by a little competition and it also helps to weed out some of the activities that we have them in that maybe they really aren’t interested in. If my child is not enjoying it or succeeding in it, we should find something that’s a better fit. If my child needs guidance or motivation to reach their goals then this is a time to figure that out.
Sometimes if my girls do really awesome at something they have been working really hard at and I don’t compliment them or I roll my eyes when they brag because I am worried about others judging us, I steal a little of their sparkle and this is never okay. It’s heartbreaking! Seriously, there are enough people in our lives trying to dim our light and steal your child’s sparkle. Our job as parents is to protect that. Don’t worry about what others are thinking! Brag about your baby walking at 9 months, your child getting the most touchdowns, the lead role in the play or the college that your child got into.
Ultimately, we are all so different and so are our kids. They all succeed in different areas and at different rates. Regardless of what they are, if they are working hard and accomplishing their goals, it is worth a brag! We need to recognize it! Okay but how?
Be sensitive to others
Quit being SO sensitive
Be excited for these kids (not just yours)
Brag about the character and the journey
Brag away, Mama!
Being a kid is tough and comes with a lot of pressure. Let’s show them love and support for the awesome children they are. When they work hard and accomplish their goals, brag away! I know it’s easier said than done just know, I am trying with you. Despite all the articles out there about how bragging about your children is a negative thing, I think you should start because I completely disagree. I think you’ll be happy with this positive attitudes and outcome!
We need to be bragging about their growth, the hard work, the kindness, the character. We are bragging about the building blocks of life. The life skills and characteristics that will help our children to grow and be great adults!