Skills To Teach Your Child Independence and Responsibility Before Middle School

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Okay all, are you feeling a little overwhelmed with that busy schedule of yours? I know that I am and sometimes I am on the verge of “Mommy Burn Out” which can get ug-ly! I got sick, I let my workout and diet slide for two weeks and it’s just not a good thing for me or anyone in my life.

Here’s is the good news. I am lightening up your schedule so that you can avoid that “Mommy Burn Out”. I have a feeling that you are still doing some of these for your kiddos when really, they should have been doing it for themselves years ago and definitely by Middle School! Don’t feel guilty that you are giving these up to them. It will give you a little more margin in your life and help build your child’s independence which is super important! If you worry that they don’t have time to do these things then they are probably overscheduled (whole other post but, guilty).

Some of these things might take a little Coaching and a lot of patience (this is where my hubby comes in) but, I promise it will be worth it! So, here we go……things your kiddos should be doing by the age of 10 (some earlier depending on maturity). Also, here is a printable list of chores by age from 2-18 that might help as well.

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YOUNGER KIDDOS AGES  3-5 (when they actually enjoy helping)

• Clean their own room – May not be perfect (ever lol) but we have to start somewhere.

• Clean up after themselves –  I love the idea of put one toy away before you take the next out.

• Get ready one their own –  They may not match but they will be feeling like a Rock Star!

• Help with small daily chores –  Start early 2-3 so they understand that everyone helps with the house.

• Use the microwave (with help) –  Some kiddos understand the concept of this by age but probably still need to check with Mommy before they use it.

OLDER KIDDOS AGES 5-10 (when it’s no longer fun)

• Their own homework –  For the record, you should never be doing your kids homework (helping is different).

• Daily cleaning their own room – By themselves (this one is TOUGH in this house but they at least straighten it).

• Clean up after themselves – Also a toughy here BUT, wait until they are relaxed and then remind the (won’t happen much more lol).

• Regular chores – Pick a day or evening that works with your schedule or spread them through the week.

• Make their own breakfast – Most breakfast is toasted, microwaved or cold. Easy, peasy.

• Make / Pack their own lunch – You can still put your sweet note in it, just stop doing it for them.

• Get ready on their own ON TIME – Yep, it’s not always easy but they can do it.

• Dishes – Get a stool and get it done! The one definitely takes some Coaching. We have a rotating Loader / Unloader.

• Their own laundry – Get a stool and get it done! My almost 11 year old still can’t reach, even with a stool but brings her clothes up and down for me.

• Use a knife – Careful with this one. Make sure they are doing it correctly, it takes some time and coaching.

• Start cooking- They should definitely know how to use the oven and stove safely by now but not regularly yet. Maybe for Mac N Cheese or scrambled eggs. =)

• Walk the dog – The distance you are comfortable with (may need a buddy). Age and location influence this.

• Walk to a close park with a friend – Your kiddos should always be with a friend or sibling if they are going to a  park.

• Have FREEDOM AND INDEPENDENCE- Keep in mind that by the age of 10, Middle School is around the corner and you should really be loosening your reigns (it’s tough, I know). You be the best Judge of what that means for your child and your family but continue to be mindful of it. I know it’s tough but it’s important and your kiddo will thank you one day! You might even be patting yourself on the back!

***BONUS*** THINGS YOU SHOULD STILL BE DOING FOR YOUR KIDDOS

Okay, a quick bonus of a couple things that I think parents stop doing too early. They are still kids, still learning, still growing and still needing love so don’t go too crazy on me okay!?

• Help them to get and stay organized

• Remind them of their chores

• Check-in regarding Homework / Tests

• Play with them

• Pray with them

• Cuddle with them

• Steal their hand

• Tuck them in

When all is said and done, this will all be a good thing! You will be left with a little more margin in your busy life and your child will be feeling more confident and independent. You will also have another reason to brag about them! Check out this post to see why that is important. Also, here are some helpful tips to Manage Your Mommy Juggle!

So, tell me, do you have anything you would add or maybe you think I’m crazy? Let me know!