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When your kids are infants and toddlers, your life is truly revolving around them! You love it but, it’s kind of a lonely place. If you are like me, you crave connection so you start joining Mom Groups, having playdates and going to Mommy and Me Classes.
I met so many wonderful women and made great connections but once my girls started school, the dynamic of my new friendships started to change as well. The kids were getting older, not connecting as I had hoped, going to different schools. Everything was changing and these new friendships were fading as well. As my girls were starting school, I was entering a new season of life.
Your children starting school can be an emotional time for everyone! It’s a great time and you know it’s going to be so much fun but there are a lot of unknowns and insecurities for everyone. Of course with the kids, you are getting all the emotions from happy, sad, shy, excited, terrified and it’s ever changing when they are young right, you never know what you’re going to get.
Now, look at the Moms. In a way, you are back to where you were when you first started Motherhood. You are looking to make new connections but this time since you have a little more confidence (you got this, you can do it again), it will happen much more naturally and definitely make sense. Although, you will definitely continue with some of your initial friendships, these women around you will be the new additions to your tribe.
Why am I so sure about this?
You are probably wondering why I say all of this and how I know and why does it make more sense? This is why.
Your Children Connect First
In general, your children will start making the friendships out the gate. Even if they are shy, they will gravitate to a more extroverted child and things will just click for them. Kids don’t have the same insecurities that we do. They are just there to meet new friends and have fun! So pay attention to who they are connecting with and start chatting it up with those parents. I mean, you see them every day or at least a couple times a week so start chatting.
Also Read: Why You Should Be Bragging About Your Kids.
Ditch your Insecurities
You are not alone with your insecurities and you know what, no one is judging you (if they are it’s them, not you). No one cares that you are dropping your kids off in your pajamas. No one cares that you just yelled at your kid or that your kid is upset or that they are drinking a Starbucks (decaf so the Teacher doesn’t judge you lol) or eating a pop-tart. If you think they are, it’s a you thing so just let go. Just like these kiddos, these parents just want the same thing. They just want to meet new friends and they are feeling the same way as you! My friends and I laugh at what a hot mess we are sometimes, we are all in this parenting thing together and do what we can do to get by right!? So just relax!
Put Yourself Out There
Keep in mind that all of these parents are in the same stage of life as you. You will have a lot in common. Your child probably already told you about Carson’s little sister (score, same age as your second) or Bella’s older brother (Oh, he is in my other daughter’s class) so that is a great place to start. One of my Besties told me that she knew we had to be friends because we had the same car (a Dodge Durango at the time) and she could tell that we shopped at the stores. Makes sense to me!
Bring Everyone Together
Now that you are connecting and meeting people. Get to know them better and start bringing people together. Go back to the stage before. You can plan playdates and park dates but also start planning Mommy Nights and Double Dates. Have families over for a Barbeque. Your kids are reaching great ages where everyone is feeling more comfortable with getting out and broadening their circle of friends. It’s great because your new friends will invite their old friends and you will invite yours. You will broaden your circle even more and your hubby can start making connections as well!
Buddies for Sports / Activities
You have expanded your circle of friends and your kids are wanting to start sports. They are young and often don’t care what they do, they just want to do it with their friend. You just want them to stay active and try new things. Not to mention, you wouldn’t mind having a friend to chat with either. I mean you aren’t allowed and really shouldn’t yell at the Refs or Coaches. I am good about this but my kids will tell you I have a tendency to “encourage” them (insert halo and horns), you need support right!? Go to your new crew. They will definitely be game and it will be awesome to cheer your littles on and giggle at the adorableness of them in those massive jerseys (I think they do this on purpose for cuteness factor).
Growing Together
You will get deeper and deeper into this stage of life. I think of it as the school-age phase, after the toddlers and before the tweens. You will have the support of your new tribe in everything you do from choir concert to carpools. These relationships will carry you through the ups and downs of some of the greatest days of your life! As your children grow and life gets busier, your commitments multiply and many of you get jobs or change jobs. Everything starts changing – you are entering another new stage. Here is the good news though, your years of friendship and memories is a solid foundation for what is now creating lifelong friendships.
These are the friends that your children will remember growing up with. The friends that will be at your children’s graduations and weddings, even if they move away. These friendships are likely forever! You know, your parents’ friends that come to all of your showers and events that comment on every picture you post of your child. These will be those friends!

So true. This is such a good post. It is so easy for kids to make friends, but not moms usually!!
Thank you so much Sarah!
I’m not at this point yet, but now you’ve got me thinking I need to start finding Mommy & Me classes. I have no friends!! Haha.
Oh Rachel! You are too cute! Ya know at first I kinda enjoyed the quiet time with my baby but as she got older, I definitely loved hanging with other women in the same stage of life as me! There is a mommy and me group for every interest and so worth it! Good luck love!
My son starts preschool next month. I’ve also found that as my mom friends enroll their kids in different schools, we see each other less and less (almost not at all). I chose a cooperative preschool to be more involved and meet new friends.
Kris you are absolutely right! It’s crazy! These women that you knew and loved you only see on facebook now. It’s a natural progression of growing apart. I have found that this happens way less once kids hit school age.
What great advice. One of our boys is a social butterfly 🦋. Our oldest is a little more reserved. But he also makes friend easily. We’ve learnt just to sit back and let the boys grow there own way. It’s such a great way in our opinion to let them see things themselves. We are always there to guide them and they will generally know if they do. I think it’s so important to role model behaviour to our children each day. Our roles as parents are so amazing. Love this post.
Thank you so much Toni! Your boys personalities sound like my girls. =) I absolutely agree with you! We are their number one role models, such a gift for us as parents! =)
How true is this! This was hard for me to put myself out there at first but quickly learned that those other mamas want friends just as much as I did. I met some of my dearest friends buy putting myself out there. It scary but it it helps keep us sane to know other people are going through the same thing we are!
Awe, thanks Katy! I am so glad that you could relate! I agree, it is a bit scary at first but it’s amazing how quickly friendships grow once you do! Love it!
Loved your post. I am not yet there but will be soon…
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